life

I Asked My Own App for Help. Here’s What It Said.

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A dispatch from the edge of new puppy ownership.

It is 8 a.m. I have already been awake for hours.

Meet Ellie. She is a puppy. She is adorable.

She is destroying me.

I want to be clear about something. I am a human performance coach. I have spent years building a ten-pillar framework for maximizing health and happiness. I teach people how to manage stress, optimize sleep, build resilience, regulate their nervous systems. I have a registered trademark, for crissakes.

And I am currently being defeated by a creature who weighs less than my lightest kettlebell.

So I did what I’ve been encouraging all of you to do. I opened the Coach Keir AI app and typed in my problem.

“I’m struggling with the stress of parenting a new puppy as a full time job, on top of my full time job.”

I want to share exactly what it said. Verbatim. Because it’s better than anything I would have written at that hour…

What Coach Keir Said: Round One

The first response named what was actually happening:

KJ, welcome to the puppy tax — the hidden cost nobody warns you about. Sleepless nights, constant vigilance, zero personal space, and a tiny furry creature who has absolutely no idea what you’re going through. It’s basically a newborn who will eventually chew your furniture.

Here’s what’s actually happening physiologically: you’re running a chronic stress response. Interrupted sleep alone tanks your cortisol regulation, impairs decision-making, and reduces emotional resilience. Add constant unpredictability (will she destroy something while I’m on this Zoom call?) and your nervous system is on high alert all day. That’s exhausting.

Immediate tools from the Slowfit toolkit:

First, your breathing. When the puppy stress spikes, do a quick downregulation reset: mouth closed, 4-count nasal inhale, 8-count nasal exhale. Repeat for 3-5 minutes. That extended exhale is a direct dial into your parasympathetic nervous system — it physiologically cannot stay in fight-or-flight mode with a long exhale. Do this during any quiet moment, even while the puppy naps.

Second, protect your sleep ruthlessly. Also grab a Manta Sleep mask with this link — blackout sleep is non-negotiable when you’re already sleep-deprived.

Your move today: Do that breathing protocol right now, then schedule one 20-minute walk — just you, no puppy. Your nervous system needs a reset.

What’s hitting hardest — the sleep deprivation or the constant unpredictability?

I answered: the sleep deprivation. And the follow-up was even better.

Round Two: The Neuroscience of Running on Empty

KJ, what you’re describing is textbook — and it’s not a character flaw, it’s neuroscience. Sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired, it literally impairs your prefrontal cortex (the rational decision-making part of your brain) while simultaneously amplifying your amygdala (the emotional alarm system). You’re essentially driving with no brakes and a heavy accelerator.

Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s work is essential here — her book How Emotions Are Made explains exactly what’s happening to you. Her “body budget” model is brilliant: sleep, nutrition, exercise, and social connection are the bedrock of emotional stability. When sleep is depleted, your brain’s predictive emotional processing goes haywire — it starts catastrophizing and overreacting because it literally doesn’t have the resources to regulate properly. You’re not overreacting because you’re weak. You’re overreacting because your brain is running on empty.

Practical interventions right now:

Protect whatever sleep you’re getting ferociously. Same wake time every single day — even weekends, even after bad nights. This anchors your circadian rhythm when everything else feels chaotic. Grab a Manta Sleep mask and get Momentous Magnesium Threonate (with code foghorn) — it crosses the blood-brain barrier and meaningfully improves sleep quality.

Track your recovery with Whoop — join Team Foghorn Fitness free. When you can see your actual recovery data, you stop guessing and start making smarter decisions about when to push and when to protect.

Your move today: Set one non-negotiable sleep boundary tonight. What time does the puppy allow you to be in bed?

The resource tiles that surfaced below the response: Dr. Alia Crum’s Science of Mindset podcast, the Wim Hof Method book, Full Catastrophe Living, How Emotions Are Made, Hope for Cynics. Every one of them relevant. Every one of them something I personally put in the Vault.

Why I’m Showing You This

I’ve published three posts about this app. One about the features. One about why I designed it to not be addictive. One about the ethics of building AI for human performance.

This is the post I should have written first.

The app is not impressive just because of its feature set. It’s useful because at 8 a.m., when I’m running on fragmented sleep and have a full day of coaching ahead, it gives me fast, direct, specific access to the synthesized thinking of someone who has spent years studying this stuff.

That someone is me. Which means I’m getting my own best thinking back when I’m too depleted to access it myself.

That’s a strange and genuinely useful thing.

A few things I want to flag about that exchange, because they matter:

• It called me KJ. Not Coach Keir, not Keir, not “I understand you’re struggling.” It knew who it was talking to—because of a few questions in the onboarding process— and it was direct.

• It named the physiology immediately. No sympathy spiral. No “that sounds really hard.” Here’s what’s actually happening in your nervous system. Here’s why.

• The affiliate links surfaced organically. Manta Sleep mask, Momentous Magnesium, Whoop — these are products I actually use and recommend. They appeared because they were relevant, not because an algorithm was optimizing for commission.

• It ended both responses with a single, specific action. Not a list of ten things. Not an attempt at endless dialogue to artificially increase engagement. One move. Today.

• It asked a follow-up question. It didn’t assume. It narrowed toward what I actually needed. Then it sent me on my way.

That’s what “trained on my methods” actually means in practice. Not a chatbot that has read some random fitness content. A coaching interface that reflects a specific philosophy about how to help people, built from years of my writing, research, and direct work with athletes.

You don’t have to have a puppy. You can have a deadline, a training plateau, a sleep score trending the wrong direction, a knee that won’t cooperate, or just a week when everything feels like too much.

That’s what this app I built is for.

OK. Ellie is ramping up for another loud barking session in her puppy zone at the moment, looking for attention. I’m going to do the breathing protocol right now.

Best,

Keir

P.S. The app is free to download. Coach Keir AI is available to all users. The full Vault — 270+ books, podcasts, tools, and on-demand workouts — unlocks with a paid subscription. Download here.

P.P.S. If you’re dealing with something the app can’t fully address — an injury, a major life transition, or you just want a real human in your corner — that’s what the 1:1 coaching is for. Book an intro session at foghornfitness.com.

P.P.P.S. All ten pillars of the Slowfit Method® live here on Substack. Paid subscribers get the deeper dives and the full resource library. Upgrade here.

P.P.P.P.S. Photo credit to my pal, Jana Ašenbrennerová.

What Do You Want Written on Your Tombstone?

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I know. Dark opener for a fitness newsletter, right?

Bear with me.

This is the first in a series of deep dives on the ten pillars of the Slowfit Method®. My framework for being as healthy and happy as possible, developed over thousands of hours of coaching, reading, and frankly experimenting on myself and anyone who’d let me. If you’re new here, the full method is at foghornfitness.com — worth a look before or after you read this.

I’m not kicking off with a workout. Not with a supplement protocol. Not even with a breathwork technique, though that’s coming.

I’m starting with a question about your funeral.

Because everything else flows from the answer.

Pillar #1: Purpose

When I designed the Slowfit Method®, I had to decide where to start. Ten pillars, each important. But one has to come first.

The answer was obvious: If you don’t know why you’re here, nothing else is oriented correctly. You can optimize your sleep, nail your Zone 2 training, build a meditation practice. And still feel like you’re running on a treadmill going nowhere if the whole machine isn’t pointed toward something that matters to you.

So we start with purpose. Your mission. Your reason for being.

Your answer to: Why am I here? And most of us have no idea. That’s OK! Keep reading, let’s see if I can help get you there, or at least pointed in the right direction.

The Tombstone Exercise

World-renowned performance psychologist Dr. Jim Loehr has spent his career thinking about exactly this. His book Leading with Character: 10 Minutes a Day to a Brilliant Legacy puts it plainly: at the end of your life, people won’t be praising your money, your title, or your status.

They’ll remember your character. What you gave. How you made them feel.

Loehr’s companion piece, The Personal Credo Journal, walks you through the hard work of crystallizing your life’s purpose. Prompts like: What are the major themes in your life? What words describe you at your best? At your worst? Are you more of a giver or a taker?

I’ve been working through the journaling myself. I won’t pretend it’s comfortable. Nor that I’ve got this thing dialed. I basically find myself disappointed in myself about something I’ve done or not done every single day. But I’m developing a much clearer sense of what I’m actually meant to be doing here. And that clarity is making me more intentional about how I spend my time. The things I choose to do that serve my purpose. The things I choose not to do that don’t. Where I direct my focus and attention (and where I don’t).

I’m also mindful here of Tsutomu Ohshima, the founder of Shotokan Karate of America (the school to which I belong), who famously said: “We must look at ourselves with the strictest eyes.” That’s the work. Not brutal self-criticism. Clear-eyed self-knowledge. Being honest with yourself, no BS. You don’t need to be a karate-ka (though it helps!) to appreciate this one.

This is why Pillar #1 is Purpose. Not double-unders. Not red-faced Tabata on a spin bike. In fact, this heavy topic is something I’ll address with new Foghorn athletes fairly early in a new training relationship. Because everything else flows from there.

Arthur Brooks on Happiness and the Second Curve

A book I kept coming back to while developing this pillar: Arthur C. Brooks’ From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. Brooks is a Harvard professor, social scientist, and The Atlantic’s happiness columnist.

The book resonated with me personally. It helped put into perspective my own career arc. Big firm litigator to sports entrepreneur running a major big wave surfing contest to human performance coach. On paper, this doesn’t look like a clean trajectory, does it?

Brooks’ framework made sense of it.

As we age, our “fluid intelligence” naturally diminishes. The dynamism, the raw idea generation, the ability to out-grind everyone in the room. That fades.

But our “crystallized intelligence” rises. The ability to draw on a lifetime of experience, synthesize knowledge, teach, and mentor. If you can let go of your attachment to the first curve and lean into the second, you’re on the road to a different kind of success. And a much deeper kind of happiness.

This is where I’ve landed. I’m here to share what I’ve learned (and continue to learn). This is my purpose, and in it I’ve found a sense of peace.

Brooks defines happiness not as a feeling but as a combination of elements: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. That third ingredient is the one most people skip. We optimize for enjoyment. We track our accomplishments for satisfaction. But purpose is the ballast. Without it, the good days feel thin and the hard days feel bottomless.

His prescription is strikingly aligned with what I built the Slowfit Method® around. Detachment from empty rewards. Genuine service to others (like you!). Deep relationships. Some form of contemplative practice.

Not hustle more, achieve more. That’s an endless treadmill. Instead be thoughtful—mission-focused—along the way. And slow down, go deeper, figure out what actually matters. Focus your efforts on that.

What the Science Says

Just like everything else I write about here, this isn’t soft stuff. The research treats purpose the same way it treats sleep quality or exercise frequency. It’s a health variable.

A 2024 peer-reviewed study found that purpose in life is a more robust predictor of mortality than life satisfaction itself. People with the highest sense of purpose had a 46% reduced risk of mortality compared to those with the lowest. They were 24% less likely to become physically inactive. And 33% less likely to develop sleep problems.

Then in the fall of 2025, UC Davis published findings from a 15-year study of more than 13,000 adults. People with a stronger sense of purpose were 28% less likely to develop cognitive impairment, including mild cognitive impairment and dementia. The effect held across racial and ethnic groups and remained significant even after controlling for education, depression, and the APOE4 gene—a known genetic risk factor for Alzheimer’s.

As lead researcher Dr. Aliza Wingo put it: purpose helps the brain stay resilient with age. Her co-author, UC Davis neurologist Dr. Thomas Wingo, added something I’ve been saying for years in different words: purpose is something we can nurture. It’s never too early or too late to start thinking about what gives your life meaning.

And the biological punchline: people with higher purpose scores show reduced epigenetic aging. They are aging more slowly at the cellular level.

So yeah, purpose isn’t a soft goal. It’s a physiological variable.

So What Do You Actually Do?

Start with Loehr’s tombstone exercise. Not morbidly. Seriously.

Sit somewhere quiet and write out, in three to five sentences, what you’d want your obituary to say. Not your title. Not your achievements. Not your stock portfolio. The kind of person you were. The impact you had. What people will remember.

Then ask: is the life I’m actually living pointed toward that?

Not perfectly. Nobody’s life is perfectly aligned with their stated values. But roughly. Generally. Is the trajectory right?

If yes: keep going with more intention.

If no, or “I’m not sure”: that’s useful information. That’s where the work starts.

That work, figuring out why you’re here and structuring your life accordingly, is in my view one of the most important health interventions available to you. More important than your VO2 max. More important than your sleep score. More important than your supplement stack.

What to Read

Want to dig a bit deeper on your own? Start with Leading with Character and The Personal Credo Journal by Jim Loehr.

Then From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks. And his follow-up, Build the Life You Want (co-written with Oprah Winfrey, which sounds odd but is genuinely good).

For a more philosophical angle: Iddo Landau’s Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World. His central argument is that most of us are far too hard on ourselves when we conclude our lives lack meaning. Your life is almost certainly more meaningful than you think.

Next up in this series: Mindset—specifically, why the story you tell yourself about your own abilities, how you perceive stressors, how you view the world around you— is one of the single most important variables in your health and performance.

Stick around.

Best,

Keir

P.S. Want to work through Purpose — and all ten pillars — with a real human coach? I work with clients 1:1 in person in San Francisco and via Zoom. Book a session at foghornfitness.com.

P.P.S. Paid Substack subscribers get deeper dives, workout programming, and access to archived content behind the paywall. Upgrade here.

P.P.P.S. Want the Slowfit Method® in your back bpocket? Coach Keir AI is trained on all ten pillars and ready to answer your questions 24/7. Download the new Slowfit Method app.

P.P.P.P.S. Plus, the new Foghorn Fitness site just launched! All ten pillars, the full method, and everything else in one place. Check it out at foghornfitness.com.

What Now?

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“You have power over your mind–not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
-Marcus Aurelius

“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”
-Buddhist parable

Greetings, friends. It’s been a couple years since my last Lemonade Chronicles post, sorry about that. (Or maybe, you’re welcome.) But I thought today might be a good day to pick the pencil back up. I’ve been writing plenty over the past few years, including finishing a 106,000 word memoir manuscript that I am actively shopping to literary agents (who have yet to nibble the bait). But I’ve also been writing in more of an email campaign format, with something of a different purpose from what I have written starting 10 years ago with this particular blog. The existential angst, butt-of-my-own-jokes prose familiar to TLC readers? Well I’ve managed to evolve that after a good hard look at my lifestyle, digging into the science about health and wellness, starting a new company called Foghorn Fitness, and even developing an entirely new approach to this stuff that I’ve coined The Slowfit Method™. Over the past five years, I’ve morphed into a human performance coach who trains about 100 people a week across group exercise classes, private coaching, and corporate wellness programs. And I send out semi-regular email missives to another 500-ish folks on topics like meditation, improving one’s sleep, physical training, mindset, breathwork, recovery, nutrition, drinking (less or not at all), building resilience, etc. More importantly, as a result of all this work, I’m waaaaay happier and healthier than I’ve ever been, living with an equanimity that I didn’t know was possible.

So now that we’re all caught up (and I hope all is well on your end, by the way), why am I posting on TLC after ghosting the platform for years?

Because things are different now. I should say at the outset that this is not a political message. I’ll leave the Monday morning quarterbacking to folks who are much more astute on that topic than I. Rather, and consistent with this new chapter of my own life and profession, I want to talk about how you can choose to respond to this new reality that we have all woken up to yesterday morning. Regardless of your political leanings, things are different now. By definition, we will be making our way in an environment with the stress dial turned up to eleven.

So what now?

First, notice that I wrote the word “choose” above. On purpose. As the Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius said, we really can choose how to respond to stress. The Buddha, too, is credited with a similar sentiment, his regarding the pain of a second arrow that we effectively inflict on ourselves. In other words, we don’t have to scream and pull our hair out and go all googly-eyed, foaming at the mouth, emotionally hijacked by external circumstances. It doesn’t have to be that way. We have a choice. Your reaction–the next arrow–is up to you. 

Second, we have a whole grab bag of useful tools to manage stress. Any kind of stress. The hundreds of athletes I’ve coached over the past five years are probably tired of hearing me say this. But it’s true. Yesterday I wrote about a bunch of them at our disposal sort of in-the-moment: Breathing, moving, eating (real food), connecting, and sleeping. For my part, I took my own advice. I doubled down on my regular healthy habits yesterday, and I genuinely felt less overwhelmed by the political events. I’ve started the day the same way today, and I feel…calm. I’m not naive; there will be much ongoing vigilance required and plenty of work to do. From all of us. But I am not consumed by it. I am ready for whatever comes. I am choosing my response. 

Third, let me share a bit more about that response. Please know that this stuff is all science-backed, folks. Nothing woo-woo or otherwise outlandish here. And it’s more relevant now than ever. Because this new political reality is a textbook example of an “evolutionary mismatch” the likes of which is responsible in large part for what ails our species. Metabolic dysfunction, cognitive decline, mental health issues, obesity, lesser longevity, loneliness, and so on. Our brain is on high alert, being chased (over and over again) by a saber-toothed tiger as we peruse our favorite news sites, social media sites, TV news, etc. I can pretty much guarantee that you’re breathing rapidly through your mouth even now just thinking about it all. You are, right? Close your mouth and take a long exhale. 🙂 The “mismatch” is the unhealthy combo of a perceived stressor without the moving around part. Unlike our on-the-go ancestors, we run the risk of being stuck in a chronic state of arousal while sitting at our desks, curled up on our couches, iPhone stuck in our face, smashing Snickers bars, yada yada. Nothing good will come from that, if we let that happen and leave things there. 

So I’m not going to let that happen. And neither should you. I’m going to lean into my meditation, breathwork, physical training (swimming, surfing, cycling, running, lifting, karate, etc.–the photo at the top was taken during a little morning walk today), journaling, mindset, mobility, clean nutrition, proper sleep hygiene, meaningful social connections, building resilience, improving focus and minimizing distraction, etc. Details on all of this stuff can be found here. If you want to deep-dive into the science underlying this Method of mine, go for it; I’ve got links to enough primary sources to keep you occupied for years.

And this is really important: Please do not be intimidated or scared off by all of this. You don’t need to try to be me. This is not about me. It’s my job to do all of this stuff. All you have to do is make a positive change in the right direction. One change. Baby steps. Walk. Take the stairs. Back away from TikTok for a bit. Drink more water. Cut back on the booze a bit. Learn some downregulation breathing. See the sunrise. Or the sunset. Hide the Snickers out of sight. Lift something heavy and put it back down, right where you found it, then do it again. Everything helps! But you do not need to do everything all at once. Just start somewhere. You have so many choices. Make one.  

Lastly, let’s not forget the whole point of this thing. By “thing,” I don’t mean democracy or the United States or the world. Nope. I’m referring to life. Your life. As in, what is the purpose of your life? Nothing that happened yesterday should have had any negative impact on your purpose. In fact, it may have actually strengthened your purpose. It did mine. As I wrote over a year ago, my purpose is to learn and to teach. It can be easy to lose sight of one’s purpose, though, in the mundane day-to-day, or in the perceived crush of new stress.

This past week I received an unsolicited email from a gentlemen whom I’ve never even met. Here’s what he wrote (and yep, I have his permission to share this, but I’m still anonymizing it a bit)–

***

Keir,

Thank you. Thank you for what you do.  What you do is important and it matters! Although we’ve never met face to face you’ve had a huge influence and impact on me!  I began a similar “no IPA / no wine” journey in late November 2022.  I was on a trip to Phoenix with E. and a couple other high school buds in March 2023. During that trip E. asked why I wasn’t having any beer or wine.  I mentioned that it was driven by health concerns and I was making progress in my quest.  He then said “A friend of mine is doing the same thing.  I’ll forward you his newsletter”.

From the point I read your first newsletter you’ve been a part of my journey.  Through giving up alcohol and starting to move my body a lot more I’ve lost over 40 lbs and my body has responded.  My doctor is no longer pushing me to be on diabetes medicine or statins.  My other blood tests that were very concerning have all returned to healthy levels.  While all that is important the one thing giving up the IPA and wine has given me that was very unexpected is the feeling of accomplishment and it may sound simplistic and very basic but…happiness.  Life is good again.

I look forward to each newsletter you send.  Your message in October regarding your two years IPA free was fantastic…congrats!  I look forward continuing my journey and exploring your Slow Fit Method further in late 2024 and 2025.

I’m including a couple pics.  My family is the most important thing to me.  With my newfound health we are hiking and getting outdoors more (S. and I having fun at the top of a small mtn in upstate NY).  I’m even in the process of completing the Spartan trifecta with my two “boys” (J., M. and I after finishing the “beast” at Killington in VT).

This email may be a bit over the top but you’ve had an impact on me.  What you do is important and it matters.  Thank you!

Today is “day 700” of my IPA/wine free journey…thank you for the gift you’ve given me!

Sincerely,
Joe  

***

If I needed a reminder of my purpose (and we all do), why I put my feet on the floor every morning, Joe graciously provided that. I’m grateful for his note, and humbled by it. Sometimes it feels like I’m shouting into the wind with all this Slowfit human performance stuff. But Joe heard me. Thanks Joe.

And Tuesday’s election has inspired me in a similar way, believe it or not. I feel the same sense of purpose that I felt during the Pandemic when I first started Foghorn Fitness. In my view, now more than ever, we need to figure out how to survive and thrive in this new super-charged, stressful environment. Remember your purpose. Move forward, one little step at a time. Oh, and put that second arrow down.  Let’s do this. 

-Keir

PS Keep your eyes peeled, as I aim to do a bit more posting to this here blog. Thanks for reading.

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